Good Morning Graverobber
by littlehutt
Summary: Graverobber wakes up one morning at Amber's, and finds himself in a mighty uncomfortable situation. Set some time after the movie's ending. Graverobber/Amber, Luigi, Pavi. Humour!fic, Repo style.


**Good Morning Graverobber**

It was not the sun that woke up Graverobber, but something touching his cheek. Thinking it was a fly, he waved slightly in a vague attempt to make it go away. He began to doze off again, blissfully going back to sleep, when he felt again the annoying nudge. He let out a soft groan and turned his head the other way, resting his forehead against the warm shoulder of the woman lying next to him.

This was nice. Sleeping in a real bed. Sleeping in soft, clean sheets. Sleeping away from all the noise of the city. Sleeping soundly without the fear of getting caught or mugged. Sleeping next to someone who cared about him and not the drug he sold, not anymore at least. He put his left arm over Amber's bare back and felt himself drift again into sleep.

The weird little laugh that followed made him frown and he opened one sleepy eye. That laugh didn't belong to his lover, that was for sure. It took him some time to focus, his mind hazy, but when he finally did, he met a very amused gaze hidden behind a mask. Wait… Was it a mask?

… Fuck. Now he was awake.

"Good-a morning-a!" Pavi greeted him.

Graverobber fell still. Was he dreaming? It didn't seem like it. What should he do? Should he say something back? Should he just go back to sleep and pretend this never happened? He had never encountered any member of Amber's family before, and it had suited him just fine. Her brothers were such freaks, next to them a repo man was a perfectly normal, functional human being.

He was still hesitating on what to do when Pavi came closer and poked again his cheek. So what had bothered him earlier was not an insect or a bug, but the creep's forefinger… Things kept getting better and better.

"Your skin-a, it's-a so… white-a!" he exclaimed, almost fascinated.

Graverobber was not known for being squeamish, but being nudged by a notorious face-stealer was enough to turn his stomach. His left hand tightened its grip on Amber's shoulder and he silently prayed for her to wake up. Surely Pavi wouldn't do him any harm if she was there to witness it… hopefully?

The loud footsteps that echoed in the corridor caught both his and Pavi's attention, and Graverobber wondered what fresh hell awaited him this time.

"Pavi! Where the fuck are you?!" an annoyed voice yelled.

"In here-a brotha!" replied the latter.

The door opened and gave way to an agitated Luigi. Graverobber felt his stomach sunk even lower.

"What the heck are you doing in Amber's bedroom? Anyway, I have to tell you about this little story I've just heard, it's fucking hilarious! I'm sure you're gonna…"

Luigi stopped dead when his eyes went from his brother to the bed and its occupants (actually, Graverobber felt more like a squatter than an occupant right now). And from the look on his face, he wasn't sharing Pavi's amusement. At all.

"You! Amber! What! Here?!" was all he could utter, his face turning crimson.

Yep, Luigi was mighty furious. Unconsciously, Graverobber slid oh so slightly against Amber who was still sound asleep by his side. He wondered how Luigi's raised voice hadn't awaken her, but she had been living with those two freaks all of her life, so she could probably sleep through everything and anything now. Although, at that very moment, he would have much preferred that it was not the case.

"Did you know about this?!" Luigi screamed accusingly at his brother.

"I am too busy-a getting-a laid myself-a to care-a about-a who any of ya fuck-a," Pavi dismissively laughed. "Hope-a ya slept-a well-a!" he continued, addressing Graverobber.

"Of course he slept well, you dumbass! This fucking peasant isn't used to a bed!"

And the raging look Luigi, the man famous for his murderous fits of anger, gave the drug-dealer would surely give him some very vivid nightmares later.

"Fucking peasant fucking our fucking sister!"

Luigi's voice was reaching new levels of anger and Graverobber felt his time had come. He didn't care if it made him look stupid or desperate: he shook Amber's shoulder roughly. Damn her and her completely deranged family! Why did he even got into this?! He was the best dealer around town, he could have any girl anytime, he laughed in the face of danger everyday… he was too fucking young to die like that! 'Cos he was going to die if Amber didn't save his ass; Luigi seemed ready to take out his knife, and Pavi was probably already picturing how Graverobber's face would look in his private collection.

Graverobber felt Amber move against him and he almost let out a relieved sigh. Almost. It was just like in those wildlife documentaries: you showed your enemies any sign of fear and you were screwed, both literally and metaphorically.

The young woman opened her eyes and stretched languidly, making Graverobber realize how close he had pressed himself against her during the whole Largo brothers act.

"Hey there… Leave me a little space, won't you? Unless you want to fuse with me or something, but I can't breath…" she yawned, trying to push him a bit away.

Setting his ego aside, he only clung to her harder, his eyes never leaving Pavi and Luigi. When you had to survive, your personal pride was not a priority.

"What's the matter Graverobber? Can't get enough of me?" she joked sleepily, kissing his tense jaw.

When he didn't respond either to her kiss or her question, she looked up and around the room, wondering what was keeping his attention from her.

"What the _fuck_ are you two doing in _my_ bedroom?" she instantly yelled, unwrapping herself from Graverobber.

Finally! He would get to live another day. He felt a wave of relief rush through him as he watched her put on a nightgown and get up.

"And what the hell are you doing with this piece of shit?!" Luigi replied, more infuriated than ever.

"How is it any of your goddamn business?"

"Since you took over dad's business, that's how!"

"It's true-a that ya sleeping-a with a bum-a isn't-a good-a for GeneCo's public-a image-a," Pavi agreed.

"And _of course_ you have to take his side! That's just so typical!" Amber spat at him.

The bum in question remained silent as the three siblings verbally fought, and soon enough the shouts were so loud and numerous that he couldn't decipher what was being said in front of him. Maybe it was the only way they knew how to communicate with one another? He didn't have a fucking clue, and he felt quite relieved to be an only child. Having siblings seemed exhausting and enough to make you tear your hair out.

After what seemed like hours, Amber finally got the upper hand and interrupted the argument with a most welcome "_Enough_!". Luigi tried to contest but changed his mind when she motioned him with one hand to shut up.

"I'm seeing and fucking whoever _I _want and you haven't got any say in this. I think I've already proved that I'm smarter than you both since I've become the new head of GeneCo, so don't sweat it. I'm an expert on public relations and I'm perfectly aware of how to present myself and the company to the public and the press. No need for you to worry about that."

She made her little speech in such an assertive and convincing way that it left Graverobber somewhat admiring. Little Amber Sweet sure had changed since Rotti Largo had died.

"But you know it's my job to worry about you, I'm the eldest, dad said so," Luigi whined in the most grotesque manner.

"I know, I know…" Amber sighed. She seemed to be used to her brother's mood swings.

"And if I don't worry about you, I don't have anything left to do…"

Oh boy, he wasn't going to cry, was he? Creepier and creepier. Amber came closer to her brother and patted his shoulder, sharing a mocking smile with Pavi that went completely unnoticed by Luigi.

"There there. It's gonna be okay," she told him. "Now why don't you go get some breakfast with Pavi? I'll join you two a bit later."

Luigi agreed, looking like a lost little boy, and Amber motioned to Pavi with a nod to get their elder brother out. Pavi smiled a wide smile and put his arm around Luigi's shoulders, leading the way to the door. But before he closed it behind him, he winked mischievously at Graverobber who buried himself deeper into the covers.

"Oh God, I thought they'd never leave!" Amber exclaimed, letting herself fall back next to him.

"What should _I_ be saying then?" he groaned.

"Good, I thought you had lost your voice," she laughed, crossing her arms on his chest and resting her chin on them.

He rolled his eyes and it only made her giggle more.

"I had no idea my brothers scared you off like that."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Come on, you were scared shitless!"

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were! You _so_ were!"

Seeing that there was nothing he could say to make his lie more believable, he brought her up to him and kissed her angrily. She responded, but when he let go of her lips to kiss her neck, she chuckled:

"I thought this first encounter with my family went rather well…"

He shot her a menacing glare that didn't seem to impress her at all.

"I guess it means no Largo gathering under the Christmas tree for you this year then?"

She was in such a good mood that it was hard for him to stay mad at her. It wasn't her fault after all if her brothers were complete freaks; you didn't choose your family. But you could choose who you shared your bed with, and he liked her enough to take the risk to run into her brothers again.

As long as Amber was with him when that happened. He liked to cheat death, but he wasn't _that_ suicidal.


End file.
